Top 5 ProLon Pro-Tips
Maybe you’ve heard Gwyneth talk about ProLon or maybe you’ve simply heard some buzz about intermittent fasting. Regardless of where ProLon lands on your relevance meter, it might just be the magic bullet you’re looking for to jumpstart healthy habits, maximize cell turnover, decrease inflammation, kick sugar cravings, and increase energy... all while diminishing belly fat and “de-puffing” for the coming warmer months.
What is ProLon?
According to ProLon, "this fast-mimicking meal plan is unlike any other program. The tasty, specially designed food gives you essential nutrition but doesn’t activate your body’s food sensing system. In other words, you get to eat, but your body 'thinks' it’s on a 5-day fast."
Ipso facto, ProLon is a “fast with food.” -- ahem, vegetarian, gluten- and lactose-free food that is.
The fine print: At R+R we never encourage starving yourself or quick-fix fad diets. ProLon is developed and based on over 20 years of scientific research sponsored by the National Institutes of Health and the USC Longevity Institute, and please visit their website for a plethora of helpful information before beginning your fast.
Why am I doing this?
Candidly, as I write this, it’s the end of snowmageddon here in Fort Worth, and I am a stress eater.
We are leaving in 1 week to ski, and my ski pants were growing tight on day 5 of playing in the snow, so I better get it figured out.
All that to say, de-bloating is certainly a desired outcome of doing ProLon, but I really and truly just want to feel better.
My skin is pretty red and inflamed, and my sleep is decent at best.
I know channelling stress in healthier ways than eating carbs and drinking margs (I rhymed) will do more than just improve my waistline. It will improve my life!
So. That’s why I’m here. Doing the ProLon fast for the 3rd time.
After the 1st time, I said I’m never doing that again.
After the 2nd time, I said I’m really never doing that again.
And alas, here I am, never say never, and any other cliches you can throw my way. THAT SAID, because I’m basically a professional ProLon-er, I’ve got a lot of pro-tips in here for you to make this baby a success.
DAY ONE
Today is v easy.
I was full from a huge dinner last night, so I didn’t eat the L-Bar until almost 11am (Dabney would definitely tsk, tsk me for waiting that long after waking to eat, but I digress).
We had a neighborhood bday party from 2pm - 4pm today with a damn beignet truck, so I knew I needed to eat before attending lest throwing this $200 fasting kit down the drain. SO, I had the tomato bisque soup at about 1:30pm to, you know, tide me over.
At the end of the party, my 5.5 year old son got a splinter in his foot, so if you heard the screaming and crying and wailing at the ends of the earth, that’s what happened. It was stressful and also hard not to laugh in his face and say IT’S A SPLINTER FOR CRYING OUT LOUD.
Anywho.
I had the other L bar after these theatrics at around 4pm, and I am still full as I write this. It’s 6pm.
I plan to have the minestrone soup in the next 30 minutes with the kale crackers and olives, saving the chocolate crisp bar for dessert. Pro-tip: Put that baby in the freezer.
I don’t think the rest of tonight will be hard, but I’ll report back if it is. I’m especially interested in seeing if I sleep better and can wake up a little earlier.
Stay tuned!
DAY TWO
I didn’t sleep great, and I’ll be honest (sorry if this is TMI), but my gas has been pretty gnarly. Could be the peas and legumes from the delicious (not) minestrone soup from last night?
Anywho, today includes the glycerin drink. I’m about to throw out some major pro-tips, so take heed.
1st Pro-tip: Pour your glycerine drink as instructed, fill with cold filtered water, then place both Hibiscus tea bags in it, and put it in the fridge to let them do a cool steep for at least 20 mins. This will change your life. If they sold this tea separately, I would buy it in hoards. Also, you don’t have to drink any of the tea just for the record. You are also allowed 1 cup of black coffee. Praise.
2nd Pro-tip: In the morning, go through your box for that day and freeze or refrigerate anything that will taste better as such. I forgot to put my olives in the fridge yesterday, and it was a bummer. But today, you better believe I put those olives in the fridge and the choco-crisp in the freezer for my after-dinner morsel.
3rd Pro-tip: You do not have to eat the food items in the order that’s recommended, but you do have to eat all of the day’s allotted food items on that particular day - ie no switch-a-roos with other boxes, mmkay?
With this in mind, I try to make the food last throughout the day. I honestly feel like I would CRUSH Survivor because I am so very good at making these boxes last. There I said it.
For breakfast, I had ½ of the L-bar with a cup of coffee around 9:30am when I felt my tummy get hungry. I’m saving that other half for late afternoon when I know my energy tends to dip, and I get stressed and/or cranky.
10:30am I had the other ½ of the L-bar when a stressful work email hit my desk. Se la vie.
My fuse is super short today, not gonna lie.
Had the mushroom soup for lunch. It was terrible.
Had my olives at 3:30pm. Can you tell I’m cranky as hell?
Went on a very light walk with the family around 5pm, and I was pretty low energy.
Had some more olives at 6pm while my minestrone/quinoa soup took 11,000 years to cook over the stove.
Ate my frozen chocolate crisp at 7pm. Went to bed after binging a couple episodes of Broadchurch.
Sleep was pretty awful again, but my gas was better! So that’s a win for my husband.
DAY 3
Super moody already this morning. Maybe because I know Day 3 is the worst day typically? Beware the beast, y’all.
Ate ½ my L bar at 9:30am with a cup of coffee. They say you can have 1 cup of coffee a day, but I’m pushing it today. I’m already at 2. Come at me ProLon Police, I dare you. I’ll cut you and laugh about it with this mood I’m sporting.
2 hours later, and I’m suddenly feeling a lot less hangry. Praise be.
Stay with me though, because I’ve got more pro-tips for making it through Day 3…
The crackers. These might be my favorite thing on the whole cleanse. Why can’t we buy these at the store? I don’t understand?
Here’s the deal though - you gotta make these babies last alldamnday, and there are only 5 in a pack. In ProLon Life according to me, you’re allowed 1 with your soup at lunch, 2 in the afternoon, and 2 with your dinner. Do you know why? Because there ain’t no coco-crisp today, NOR are there any olives.
Final pro-tip for Day 3: Freeze the second ½ of your L-bar to have after dinner. You’re welcome.
This evening while the soup was boiling and I made Defined Dish’s chicken nuggets for my family because I am the best mom ever, I wanted to throw in the towel. Remembering I have 2 more full days of this sounds soooo very hard.
DAY 4
Slept really, really well last night. I felt pretty good this morning, and I wasn’t starving when I woke up, and it’s a dang good thing because I forgot my L-bar when I went to a local coffee shop for a meeting and to work.
Rather than packing up and turning around when I realized my misstep, I decided to stay put because TIME IS MONEY Y’ALL, and I ain’t gotta lot of it to spare.
This means I got home around 11:30am to have soup/lunch and I also had ½ of the elusive L Bar. Pop quiz: Where did I put the other half? The freezer! A+ for you for paying attention.
Got that baby out at 2:15pm. Lifesaving.
I had *both* packs of olives to tide me over through a 5pm pee-wee baseball practice, and I finished the night with a veggie/minestrone soup + frozen coco-crisp for dessert.
Somewhere halfway through this day, the resistance to eating a v small box of food a day turns into surrender, and you know you’re over the hump. One more day!
DAY 5
See notes on Day 3 for how to divy this day up, but it’s honestly a huge day of relief with a side of impatience.
My hardest part of this day was going to bed on a hungry stomach. I was sleep-talking myself into going and raiding the fridge at midnight.
In sum, this is really hard, but it’s worth it. I think I’ll do it again, but not for another year or so. I’ve definitely de-bloated, I have more energy, and it has definitely helped curb my sugar cravings. While I thought I’d wake up ravenous on Day 6, I was totally content with a small bowl of Culina Yogurt, Paleo Granola, and some blueberries.
I am going to have a cocktail tonight though. That’s prob not recommended.
ProLon Hot Takes
So their website has a pretty good FAQ section, but I’m going to try to address some of my biggest ones.
ICYMI, you do not have to eat the foods in any particular order or at any particular time on a given day. You DO have to eat all of them, nothing more, nothing less. You DO have to eat only the contents in the box for that day.
Working out on ProLon: I walked on day 1 and did a light pilates class on day 5. That’s it. Definitely don’t overdo it.
You DO NOT have to drink the teas. You DO need to only drink 1 cup of coffee, lots of filtered water, and the glycerine drink.
The glycerine drink is only offered on days 2-5.
The mushroom soup is horrid. The kale crackers are delicious. Everything else is fine.
You’ll want to give up at 3-6pm everyday. Don’t.
You’ll talk yourself into the following: 3 days is enough, 4 is enough, can I just have this handful of unshelled, salted pistachios speaking to me from the pantry?... Don’t listen.
Every morning you’ll wake up with new resolve!
With each day you’ll have more energy and your thoughts will be clearer (well, after day 2/3 at least)
Final AND MOST IMPORTANT pro-tip: START ON A SUNDAY. This means you’re finished when you wake up Friday morning!
As hard as this fast can be, once you get to Day 4, you’re coasting downhill. Call 817-720-6220 or swing by R+R to grab yours today. You will not regret it! The benefits truly do outweigh the pain points, and before you know it, you’ll be clearer headed, full of energy, lighter on your feet (and in your waistline).
ProLon is $199 and is available at Restore + Revive Wellness Center or via Fullscript.